PART 1

This night is cold in the kingdom
I can feel you fade away
From the kitchen to the bathroom sink and
Your steps keep me awakeDon't cut me down, throw me out, leave me here to waste
I once was a man with dignity and grace
Now I'm slippin' through the cracks of your cold embrace
So please, pleaseCould you find a way to let me down slowly?
A little sympathy, I hope you can show me
If you wanna go then I'll be so lonely
If you're leavin', baby, let me down...'

I immediately removed my headphones when ammi came into my room

"why are lying on the floor like this"she gave me a questionable look

I was lying on the floor on my stomach and pillow under my chest. My legs were crossed and I had a book infront of my face. This is beast position to read for me but of course not good according to my ammi

"I was just reading"

"then sit properly at least, this is not how decent girls sit." she said angrily

'Decent' this word is very common for me as I have to be decent literally every second even if I am alone in my room.

"ji ammi" I said while getting up and setting KY kurti properly.

"get dressed properly and come downstairs Abbu is calling you" she left the room.

'not again' I thought. Whenever Abbu calls me it's either about my profession or about my dressing sense in public. He doesn't like how I ran here and there in hospital because he think decent girls don't do things like that. He doesn't like my hospital's uniform that is why he doesn't want me to go to work. Well there are tons of male employees as well that is another main reason.

It is weird isn't it. Why would a father won't like if their child is doctor, well mine one is like that. Not only him but my whole family is.

Let me introduce myself, I am Inaya Khan daughter of Shahid Khan, my family runs Zeenat wears, company which mainly makes muslim style dresses for both men and women. Their dresses are decent and beautiful also got a touch of Rajasthani style. My father is the head of family and is rich enough to send my to London for studies.

Yes I went to London university for my medical degree. At first my father didn't allowed me. He doesn't want to let me go to some other country alone for 4 years. Most importantly there will be boys in collage and he doesn't approve of me talking with any opposite gender.

I requested him alot finally he allowed only because my cousin brother Irfaan was going to stay in London for work. He always kept an eye at me and never let me go out of apartment except for my collage.

They appointed a female bodyguard for me who would keep an eye at me inside the collage. Thanks to her I never got any proper friend. I only focused on my studies. I was top student of my uni professors told me that I should stay in London and become a proper surgeon. I can have a bright future but my family didn't want me to stay in light.

As my bachelors degree got complete I was called back to India. I have no choice but to listen to them. They wanted me to get married but I firmly refused them. They can force me in anything but not in marriage. They can't get me married without my permission.

This gave my phuphi a great chance to insult me. They wouldn't leave a moment of not taunting me about being bachelor.

For my masters degree I enrolled in near university. I was already smart enough so I started my internship together. Which helped me become youngest surgeon in hospital.

My family didn't want me to work in hospital as their uniform is not suitable in our culture but Dr. Sinha head of Trauma center insisted my father to let me work there.

My talent was really useful and I saved many lives. I lived my work more then everything. I was not close to my family since they never gave me a reason to..

I got ready and walked down the stairs. Everyone is gathered in living room. Abbu and Chachu were discussing something with Armaan and Irfaan Bhai. Ammi, Samrah Bhabhi, Ajiya Bhabhi was doing some work in kitchen. I walked towards Abbu when Chachi held my hand from back.

I turned around and she gave me an angry look. She picked my dubatta and settled it on my head. I covered it properly.

"don't go infront of elders with bare head" she left instantly.

I walked towards Abbu and hearing my footsteps he turned towards me including Irfaan Bhai. Others were still busy with there work.

"abbu, aapne bulaya? (you called?) I asked looking down at floor.

He crossed his arms and said "I have told you many times not to run around outside the house. Specially not infront of other males and you wouldn't listen to me" he scolded

He probably heared from someone. Day before yesterday we had an emergency but my explanation wouldn't matter him, he doesn't care about others life all he cares is his dignity.

"sorry abbu" that's the only thing I could say.

"how many times will you apologize, you never help your ammi with household works all you do is run around wearing that dress. Such a shame" he said with disgusted look.

I can tolerate anything but an insult to my profession. He is talking about my OT uniform. He doesn't like it because top only extends to my waist. I don't like his way of thinking I badly wanted to argue back but it will only add fuel to fire.

"leave it bhaisab, let's get to the point" said Chachu looking towards Abbu

'wait, there is more'

"we have found a suitable marriage partner for you, currently their family is in Delhi but they will come back next week and then they will come to see you. Submit you resignation letter to hospital and complete all necessary works till end of week." Chachu said in one go.

He stood up from sofa along with 4th others and they walked towards dinning area leaving me in shock. I tried to talk to ammi but she nodded in no. She is not helping me either. Well she never does that.

I left the scene and went straight back to my room. I didn't had dinner and no one bother to ask for me as if I am not a part of FAMILY.

Even Samrah and Ajiya Bhabhi never faced this in their homes. Neither Umrah did, she is daughter of my phuphi.

Only thing which is common in all three girls is that they didn't really focused on their studies and was busy learning household works. They became an ideal daughter who would always obey there parents and follow all those hundred rules set by them. They were just like a parrot in cage.

I wasn't like this. I wanted to follow my dreams which made my family think I am shameless and they never loved me.

I really wanted to run away from home, but I couldn't because my father is rich he can find me and when he does I don't know what will he do to me.

I cried whole night and eventually fell asleep. I can't stop this marriage because I knew sooner or later his will definitely happen. I just hoped that the groom is not like my father.

At least he would allow me to still work after marriage. I woke up with azaan voice. It was fajr time.

I do pray alot. I am a religious person. Sometimes I leave my Namaz bacause of emergency burning always try to complete them on time.

I got up from bed freshen up and took out the janamaz, I work my hijab and stood facing the kaba.

'Niyat Ki Me Ne 2 Rakaat Sunnat Namaz Fajr Ki
Allah Taala Ke Liye Sunnat Rasoolallah Ki
Muh Mera Kaba Shareef Ki Taraf'

I started my prayer.

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After Namaz I went back to sleep. It was early morning and didn't had any work. Around 2 p.m. I left the room. In my normal dress. I was going towards the car when my brother Armaan called me.

I turned around and he walked towards me.

"where are you going?" he asked

"hospital"

"today will be your last day, don't forget to submit your resignation"

I didn't responded. I was not used to of talking to my family members alot. I just nodded and sat on the back seat.

Driver took me to the hospital and I immediately changed to my uniform. I had a surgery. After surgery I went to the meeting room.

Everyone was already there and I walked in. Dr. Sinha was waiting for me.

"settle down fast I have something to explain" she looked at me then the projecter.

I settled at front seat next to Dr. Tia

Apparently she is only person I talk to freely. We both worked together many times and she had same mindset as mine which is saving the patient at any cost.

"Mr. Rajat pawar, aged 56, suffers from severe coronary artery disease. He's a ticking time bomb, his heart struggling under the weight of blocked arteries." Dr. Sinha started explaining

She opened the screen on her laptop which showcased on projector.

she gestured toward a diagram on the screen, displaying a complex network of blood vessels. "As you can see, the left anterior descending artery is almost completely obstructed. Without intervention, Mr. Pawar faces a high risk of myocardial infarction, or worse."

"We'll perform a coronary artery bypass graft," she explained, his hands tracing an imaginary path along the diagram. "A vein graft will be harvested from Mr. Pawar's leg to bypass the blocked section of the artery. It's a delicate procedure, requiring precision and expertise."

"Am I clear" everyone nodded to that

She took a file and read names from there.

"Anesthesiologist Rita, C.S. Inaya and C.S. tia, you all will be there with me. Surgery is scheduled for tomorrow so be prepared.

I was shocked to hear my name. It's not my first time performing a bypass but I was supposed to submit my resignation today. Everyone just nodded and Dr. Sinha left the room.

I followed her called her out.

"Wait, ma'am" I called her.

She turned around and faced me. "what is it?"

"I need to talk to you about something"

"Let's go to my office" she said and I followed her. We reached her office and she settled on her chair while I was still standing.

"sit down Inaya" she pointed towards the chair.

I didn't knew what to say to her. She is only person who believed in my abilities except for tia. They both always supported me.

I clinched my fist and pulled myself together. "ma'am I am sorry but I can't perform the surgery" I said looking down at table.

"and may I know the reason why? "

I pulled out my resignation and placed it on her desk. She opened the paper and placed It back. She looked at me with confused eyes.

"how about you give me a genuine reason for your resignation then I might accept it"

"ma'am I might get married that is why"

"if it's your marriage then you can just take a leave. Why do you have to resign"

"about that I am not confirm if after marriage my husband will let me work or not"

She paused for a second and stood from chair. Walked and stood infront of me. She placed her hands on my cheeks and made me look at her.

"are you an idiot, why would you leave your work just for marriage" she released her hands." it's fine if you can't perform the surgery but there is no way I will accept your resignation"

I didn't knew what to do. I didn't wanted to resign and I knew she was genuinely worried about me but I can't tell her the truth. She might go and talk to my father about this and he will definitely get angry.

"ma'am please accept it." that's all I could say

She took. A step back and leaned on the wall.

"why Inaya, it's not like you don't like your job then why? " she gave me a worried look.

I couldn't answer her questions. I kept my silence and she just kept looking at me.

"I am not accepting your resignation." I tried to protest but she shut me up. "listen carefully, I am not doing this for you there are patient around who might need your help and I am not sacrificing their lives. You can take leave but comeback after your marriage, not for yourself but for injured patients" she said and left her office.

I couldn't reply to her. She was definitely right. I should not forget to perform my duties but I didn't knew what to do.

I walked to our cardiac department common room. And tia was waiting for me while looking at patients report.

She tried to talk about the bypass surgery but I informed her about my resignation. I told her everything about my talk to Dr. Sinha. She knew about my family as well.

She got angry as I was still not ready to. Leave that controlling FAMILY. She scolded me for being dumb and not standing up for myself. Unlike me tia is strong girl.

She left the room with anger. I guess she is not going to talk to me after all this.

I walked towards the Emergency room for a round when I saw a patient on stretcher in a critical condition. All the staff was scared to death and non was checking on patient.

A group of men in black suits were standing in front of the staff and they were about to take the patient away.

I knew I submitted my resignation but I still have today to work so I did what a doctor should do....

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